Tazer
Category: NPCs

Info
Tazer is an NPC that appears in the GOATed Gas Station and Sparkplug Cafe event. He, like, is a moderator for both games Noble owns, being Bus Simulator and Kit Battle.
Appearance
Tazer wears a set based off of the Cyber Critter 9004, for both his clothing as well as his visor. He also has a PDA on his wrist, a pair of wings, a fabulous ladies hat, and both a banner and a relay pack on his back.
Favourite Drink (Cafe)
Tazer's favourite drink is Cup of Glowstick Fluid. This gives you either 3 Passenger Rep or 3 Driver Rep alongside 210 Coins. However this may only be done at the Cafe event.
Dialogue
Goat Station

  • Variant 1: "Beep boop?"
  • Variant 2: "zzzzz.... Wha?... Oh, what's up?"
  • Variant 3: "Can you believe the prices of gas these days? It cost me 2000 coins just to fill up the gas tank on my Mini Bus!"
  • Variant 3: "Can you believe the prices of gas these days? It cost me 55 passenger rep just to fill up the gas tank on my Mini Bus!" [Archived]
  • Variant 4: "Am I finally out of detention? Oh, you're not the principal. What do you want?"
    • Option 1: Do you know about the gas station over there?
      • "Oh, that place? Don't know much about it, but I drove my Mini-Bus around in there a few days ago and got kicked out. They said something like.."
      • Disc: "Stop driving your Mini-Bus around in places it's not supposed to be in!"
      • Green: "I swear to God, I'm gonna lose it if I have to clean up your skid marks again! You gotta go!"
      • "But driving is fun..!"
    • Option 2: How long have you been here for?
      • "I don't know, like, probably a few hours. I think..."
    • Option 3: What are you doing here?
      • "I drove my Mini-Bus inside the school, and one of the teachers caught me and confiscated it."
    • Option 4: Let's Talk!
      • Variant 1: "If you really want to."
      • Variant 2: "Well, uh. Not really sure what to talk about, but i suppose we could chat."
        • Variant 1: "I've been researching a lot about unusual places lately. Apparently, there's this place called 'The Backwalls'. Not sure if this is real, but i really want to explore around there if it is. Apparently, there's this tall shadow figure that chases you if you aren't careful, though. Hopefully they aren't too common."
        • Variant 2: "This is the most bogus way to spend my free time, honestly. The teachers here are so strict about 'No driving Mini Buses on campus!' but I never see them enfore the that rule on anyone else! It makes sense that I'm the only one who gets in trouble for it."
        • Variant 3: "I've been modifying the heck out of my Mini Bus lately. I hope the principal doesn't take it away for too long. I just got it a few days ago, and I've already started to get pretty attached to it."
          • Option 1: Why not just sneak it out and drive away?
            • "If I wasn't being watched by the teachers so closely, don't you think I would have already DONE that by now?"
          • Option 2: F
        • Variant 4: "I saw some dude jumping around with some sort of rocket launcher made of cones a while ago. Not sure how it works, but if I were you, I wouldn't make them angry."
        • Variant 5: "I'm a bit hungry. How about if you can find a stick of RAM and bring it back to me, I can give you... How about 2 Driver Rep and 200 Coins in return?"
        • Variant 5: "I'm a bit hungry. How about if you can find a stick of RAM and bring it back to me, I can give you... How about 2 Driver Rep in return?" [Archived]
          • Option 1: There's no way you said it unironically.
            • "Yeah, what's it to you? Do you want the reward or not?"
            • "Yeah, what's it to you? Do you want the rep or not?" [Archived]
              • Option 1: Sure, I guess so.
                • "Cool. I don't know where you'd find one, though. Maybe Zeon has one?"
              • Option 2: No.
                • ":("
          • Option 2: Sure.
            • "Awesome. I don't know where you'd find some though. Maybe Zeon has a stick?"
          • I have your RAM (Only appears if the player already has RAM)
            • Proceeds to Option 5 Variants 1 - 2
    • Option 5: I'm back, and I have your RAM. (Only appears if the player has the ram stick)
      • "Wait, really?"
        • Variant 1: "Thanks! Here's that reward I promised."
        • Variant 1: "Thanks! Here's that rep I promised." [Archived]
        • Variant 2: "Here's your stuff, now get lost!"
          • (The player then receives 2 Driver Reputation and 200 Coins.)
        • Variant 3: "Here's your stuff, now get lost! Haha just kidding! Feel free to talk to me again sometime."
          • (The player then receives 2 Driver Reputation and 200 Coins.)
        • Variant 3: "Here's your rep, now get lost! Haha just kidding! Feel free to talk to me again sometime." [Archived]
        • Variant 4 (Illegal RAM, obtained using Admin / Unnatural Means): "Hey, wait a second.. This RAM is unmarked! Bootleg! Are you trying to scam me? Well, this'll be the last scam you'll ever pull."
          • (The player then explodes.)
        • Variant 5 (Missing RAM, extremely rare): "Hey, wait a second.. you lied to me! There's no ram here! This'll teach you for being such a trickster..."
          • (The player then explodes.)
        • Variant 6 (If already completed within multiple events): "Uhh.. I kinda feel like I've done this before.. I don't really feel that hungry anymore.."
        • Variant 7 (If already completed within multiple events): "Ehhhh... I'm kind of feeling a bit spooked right now. I have a big sense of like, deja vu.. Maybe next time.."
        • Variant 8 (If already completed in the same event): "Ehhhh, I'm pretty full, but thanks anyway."
    • Option 6: Nevermind.
      • Variant 1: "Then stop wasting my time."
      • Variant 2: "Cya then."
      • Variant 3: "Bruh..."
      • Variant 4: "With regards from Tazer..."
        • (The player is then flung.)
      • Variant 5: "Tazer jumpscare"
        • (Tazer then kills the player by "jumpscaring" them.)
Airhorn Responses (Goat Station)
  • If the airhorn is used repeatedly in proximity to Tazer:
    • "It's already hard enough being in detention, can you not?"
  • If the airhorn is used repeatedly in proximity to Tazer for a second time:
    • "No, like actually stop it. I'm not even allowed to leave the room."
  • If the airhorn is used repeatedly in proximity to Tazer for a third time:
    • "And I thought I was obnoxious..."
  • If the airhorn is used repeatedly in proximity to Tazer for a fourth time and so on:
    • "With regards from Tazer."
      • (The player then gets flung.)
  • If you click on Tazer's Mini-Bus:
    • "Don't. Even. THINK. About. It."
  • If you click on Tazer's Mini-Bus a second time:
    • "You are NOT getting my minibus. Stop trying."
  • If you click on Tazer's Mini-Bus a third time:
    • "STOP."
  • If you click on Tazer's Mini-Bus a fourth time and so on:
    • "That's it. You gotta go. NOW!!!"
      • (The player then violently explodes from a thunderbolt. (Triggers the Shocking Results Badge.))
Cafe
  • Variant 1: "Beep boop!"
  • Variant 2: "Beep boop?"
  • Variant 3: "Watts up?"
  • Variant 4: "What do ya want? I'm busy here, can't you see?"
  • Variant 5: "Hey, can you pass me the ratchet- Huh? Oh, you're not Inro. What's up?"
  • Variant 6: "Need somethin'?"
  • Variant 7: "You know, it's funny. Today is Sunday but like, why do they call it that if the sun is out every day? Wouldn't that technically make every day Sunday? Hahah! Anyways, what's up?" (If the current day is Sunday)
    • Option 1: You seem very familiar…
      • "Yeaah, I'm the one who broke those glass doors at that gas station not too long ago."
        • Option 1: Right. That explains the skidmarks.
          • "And the broken shelf.."
        • Option 2: Weren't you also in detention or something?
          • "We don't talk about that…"
        • Option 3: Did you ever get those doubled gas prices worked out?
          • "How did you know about that? You didn't steal the note, did you?"
            • Option 1: I think they threw it away.
              • "sigh... Of course they did."
            • Option 2: Wouldn't you like to know?
              • "Yeah, I do... That's why I asked..?"
            • Option 3: Lucky guess.
              • "Dang....."
    • Option 2: What are you doing?
      • "Tuning up my minibus, replacing broken and damaged parts and whatnot.. Who knew something so small could have so many complex components?"
        • Option 1: Why?
          • "Why not? Can't I have a little fun with my minibus?"
            • I guess.
        • Option 2: Can you tune my minibus next? (Accessible if you have a Mini-Bus.)
          • "Alright, but don't get mad at me if it ain't what ya want. And I ain't doin this free, either. Pay up or no tune."
          • "4,500 coins for part cost and a body kit. I'll also need your keys to dyno it after to make sure everything runs right."
          • "45 passenger rep for part cost and a body kit. I'll also need your keys to dyno it after to make sure everything runs right." [Archived]
            • Option 1: No thank you..
              • "Aight, your choice then."
            • Option 2: Deal!
              • "Pass over the coins and your keys." (Player then purchases the E-Bus design if they have enough.)
                • If the player doesn't have enough coins:
                  • "Woahh, hold up a second bud..."
                  • "You ain't got the coins for this. No can do, sorry. Come back once ya got enough coins to pay me."
                • If the player doesn't have enough reputation: [Archived]
                  • "Woahh, hold up a second bud..."
                  • "You ain't got the rep for this. No can do, sorry. Come back once ya got enough rep to pay me."
                  • "Just in case you forgot, you can get more passenger rep by thanking your Driver."
            • Option 3: Do you have another body kit?
              • "Nah, that was the last style I had still laying around... I'm all out of race car kits."
              • "Just sold off the last one a few days ago, said they were entering a minibus race or somethin'? I'm sure you'll probably find some there if you enter some races."
                • Aw.
                • Tell me more about these races.
                  • "Well, all that I really know about these races is that they take place across various abandoned roads and race tracks that were too risky for cars to drive on, so, they eventually got shut down.."
                  • "I also heard that they apparently have some crazy tracks in space or something? Not sure if that's true or even possible, it was just a rumor that I heard from someone."
                  • "Careful though, I also heard that you might get speeding tickets if you get caught racing."
          • If the player has already purchased the design:
            • "Sure thing. You already own the kit for your minibus, and I still have most of the parts layin' around. Let me know what you want to do with it."
              • Option 1: I've changed my mind.
                • "Aight, your choice then."
              • Option 2: Swap Mini-Bus Body (Changes between the E-Bus and the Mini-Bus design.)
                • If you have the E-Bus equipped:
                  • "Got it. I've restored the Mini-Bus to its original state."
                • If you have the Mini-Bus equipped:
                  • "Aight. I've re-applied the body kit."
      • Option 3: Tell me a joke!
        • Variant 1: "Oh, I got a good one!"
        • Variant 2: "Okay, let's see here..."
        • Variant 3: "Aight, bet."
        • Variant 4: "Sure thing."
        • Variant 5: "I can do that!"
          • Variant 1:
            • "A jumper cable walks into a restaurant."
            • "The waiter says to it ''I can serve you, but you better not start anything!''"
          • Variant 2:
            • "I walked in on someone trying to break a fuse yesterday. I had to stop them and tell them that was an abuse of power."
          • Variant 3:
            • "I saw someone replacing a muffler on their car the other day."
            • "It was exhausting!"
          • Variant 4:
            • "I was trying to find a diagram to fix an automatic transmission the other day, but all they had were manuals..."
          • Variant 5:
            • "Did you hear about the mechanic who got into the habit of drinking brake fluid?"
            • "He said he could stop at any time!"
          • Variant 6:
            • "A wind turbine saw a solar panel at the energy convention, so he leaned down to the solar panel and said ''hey, I'm a big fan!''"
          • Variant 7:
            • "Other mechanics might disagree, but eyedrops are technically blinker fluid."
          • Variant 8:
            • "I tried to talk to a robotic frog the other day, but all it said back was ''rivet''."
          • Variant 9:
            • "People ask me how it feels when you stick your finger in an electrical outlet."
            • "To be honest, it hertz."
          • Variant 10:
            • "I saw a few boulders playing guitar the other day."
            • "I approached them and said ''Hey, that rocks!''"
      • Option 4: Let's Talk!
        • Variant 1: Alright.
        • Variant 2: Yeah, sure.
        • Variant 3: Fine, but I really should get back to working after.
        • Variant 4: Sure thing!
          • Variant 1:
            • "I found a way to get into the Backwalls not too long ago! Those shadow creatures are no joke, huh? They seem to just chase you forever! I wonder if there's a way to cloak yourself from them and sneak past.."
          • Variant 2:
            • "I snuck into this weird facility a while ago. I think it was called like, 'Kit Co.' or something like that? Weird place. There were a bunch of computers and stuff everywhere."
            • "I think they might've been running like, some kind of battle simulation or something? I thought I heard some gunshots and explosions, so I ran off and hid in a vent 'cause I got kinda scared."
            • "Might go back to see what's going on there some time, though. I dunno."
          • Variant 3:
            • " This garage is great! It's got everything I'll ever need! Tools, parts, even a working dyno over there in the corner! It's super useful to make sure my tuning setup on my minibus is perfect!"
          • Variant 4:
            • "Have you noticed the prices of oil just skyrocketing nowadays?! It really makes working on cars hard. They better start dropping soon..."
          • Variant 5:
            • "You know, being a mechanic is pretty fun. Challenging, sure, maintaining a car or minibus isn't the easiest thing ever, but it's nice being able to trick out your ride the way you want to."
            • "Part cost does unfortunately make it a bit hard to get into as a hobby, but it's worth the cost for having some fun."
          • Variant 6: (If today is Monday.)
            • "Ugh.. is it seriously Monday already? I might just head home and go to sleep through the rest of the day or something.."
          • Variant 7: (If today is Wednesday.)
            • "You know, it feels like I'm forgetting something... Not sure what it could be, but it feels like there's something I need to do before tomorrow..."
          • Variant 8: (If today is Saturday.)
            • "I should probably be out causing trouble on my minibus right now, but doing a bit more tuning on it first couldn't hurt."
      • Option 5: What do you drink? (Accessible after giving Tazer the wrong drink for the first time.)
        • "Funny that you ask, but I'm feeling a bit stubborn. So, instead of telling you directly, I'll let you figure that out with a riddle!"
          • Option 1: Why not just tell me directly?
            • "Much less fun that way, isn't it? Plus, this way gets the gears turning in your head, if you know what I mean."
              • Whatever, just say it.
                • "What doesn't work until you break it, but gets lighter even though it weighs the same?"
                  • ...
          • Option 2: Uhh, okay..?
            • "What doesn't work until you break it, but gets lighter even though it weighs the same?"
              • ...
      • Option 6: My Mini-Bus... (Accessible after purchasing the E-Bus design.)
        • "What about it?"
          • Option 1: Swap Mini-Bus Body (Changes between the E-Bus and the Mini-Bus design.)
            • If you have the E-Bus equipped:
              • "Got it. I've restored the Mini-Bus to its original state."
            • If you have the Mini-Bus equipped:
              • "Aight. I've re-applied the body kit."
          • Option 2: Nevermind.
            • "..Okay then."
      • Option 7: Actually, I think I have something else to do...
        • Variant 1: "Seriously?..."
        • Variant 2: "Guess I'll just get back to tuning my minibus then."
        • Variant 3: "Well, so do I."
        • Variant 4: "Then stop wasting my time."
        • Variant 5: "Cya I guess."
        • Variant 6: "With regards from Tazer..."
          • (The player is then flung.)
        • Variant 7: "Then scram before I hit ya with a wrench! Haha, just kidding. Feel free to stop by whenever!"
Drink Responses (Cafe)
  • If you give Tazer the wrong drink:
    • Variant 1: "Looks delicious, but I can't drink that. Sorry. Maybe someone else would like it though."
    • Variant 2: "Thanks, but no thanks."
    • Variant 3: "Do you honestly think that I would be able to drink this? Seriously, are you trying to kill me or something?"
  • If you give Tazer The Sludge.:
    • "What is this? Some new type of fuel or something? What's its octane rating?"
    • "Hang on, this is the stuff that the guy who always hangs out by the dumpster likes, isn't it? How'd you get that on your hands?"
    • "Hm... maybe I could try putting it in my Mini-Bus to see how well it works as a fuel alternative."
    • "Who knows, maybe I might get more power out of my Mini-Bus by using it as fuel!"
  • If you give Tazer Cup of Glowstick Fluid:
    • "Well, you actually figured it out. I must admit, I'm honestly impressed."
    • "And hey, since I put you through all the hassle of solving a riddle all on your own, here's some rep and coins to make up for it."
      • If you give him another Cup of Glowstick Fluid:
        • "Another one, huh?"
        • Variant 1: "Awesome."
        • Variant 2: "Thanks, I'll drink this later."
Trivia
  • When you visit GoatedGas, you're able to find a discarded note in the trash can, inspecting it gives you what is written on the note:
    • To Disc & Green, I am highly unsatisfied with the way your services has been. Not only have you applied spike strips to the door, thus popping the tires on my Mini-Bus, and charged me for spare tires, but you have also charged me double on gas when refueling my Mini-Bus due to "being too reckless." I find it extremely unfair that you guys are punishing me this way, and I request that you drop the doubled charges at once. I cannot afford to use 55 passenger rep on one refuel. - Signed, Tazer
-Tazer is the only person to have a custom reskin of the Mini-Bus, being a Race Car.
  • You can also find and use the same skin in Minibus Racing by purchasing it in the shop, as well as in Kit Battle, as a cosmetic for him.
  • It is entirely possible to get the Illegal RAM dialogue without assistance of an Admin by double-clicking Tazer to where he has two versions of himself, and swiftly double-clicking the RAM option.

  • Tazer, D6, and MLG are fully capable of killing the player by their normal dialogue options, however doesn't actually kill them when annoyed via an Airhorn, compared to other more passive NPCs like Frostbite.
  • You can also give Tazer, the actual player; a Cup of Glowstick Fluid, and he will be able to drink it perfectly fine.
  • It is also possible to pre-fire his completion dialogue when giving him RAM, if you picked up RAM from the same event you fed it to him again, and then give it to him in the next event.